Wide shot of the fronts of three houses at night. Extremely slow zoom and pan to the house on the right, an old two-story structure, vine-draped and sleeping. Faint blue moonlight mixes with the imposing street lights. Crickets are heard chirping. They get louder and louder, drowning out all other sound until they turn into an alarm clock’s buzzer.

Cut to inside Sharon’s room. She sleepily turns off the alarm which reads 3:30 and lies in bed for a bit more. Cue This Is Not the End by Laura Gibson. The camera follows in front of her as she rises, navigates blindly to the kitchen and turns on the light. Just as the light flips on, the left two-thirds of the frame switches to an outside shot in which we get a view of the left side of the house. From the (upstairs) kitchen window falls light that’s almost too yellow and we glimpse Sharon’s silhouette, which is in synchronized movement with the right third. Sharon is seen (in the right third of the frame) opening cupboards until she locates the sugar which she places on the counter and then walks into the bathroom. The camera, presumably out of shyness, does not enter with her. Door open, Sharon starts to pull down her pants and the right third blinks into place with the rest of the frame revealing the driveway to the right. After about 10 seconds, a toilet flush is heard and the Title appears – “Three Thirty”

A car pulls into the driveway. Jane steps out, walks to the front door and takes out her keys.

Cut to inside kitchen extension room. An unfocused close-up on Sharon’s torso as she mixes batter in a large bowl. An in-focus Jane walks up the stairs behind her. Sharon turns her head.

S: Hey stranger!

J: (genuinely glad to see her) Hey Mom! Haven’t seen you in weeks – how’s it goin’?

Sharon walks off-screen right, taking the bowl with her. Jane pulls up a stool and sits where Sharon was standing. She pulls out her cell phone and fiddles.

S: (off screen) Good. How was the party?

Jane, momentarily engrossed by her cell phone screen, doesn’t respond.

S: I’ll let you go to sleep.

J: (finishing a text message) What? Oh, no Mom I can stay up for a bit. I want to. Are you outa here, though?

S: (as she walks on screen, puts a plate down in front of Jane, and walks back off) They’ve got me doing this darn orientation again… So, anyway, I thought I’d make breakfast – you know, before I go tell a bunch of pre-meds how to undo-the process I might as well soak some flour in oil and (back on screen, plopping a pancake on Jane’s plate) put it in me.

J: Mmmmmm.

S: Oh, here… fructose.

Jane leaps up and puts a soft hand on Sharon’s shoulder.

J: I got it. You flip.

Jane gets the syrup and they return to their previous positions.

J: (cont.) The party? The gathering? Um, it was… as fun as those things get I suppose.

Cut to medium shot from Jane’s left allowing audience to see them both.

S: How’s Jill? Is she still… you know…

J: Adorably dysfunctional?

S: Well I was gonna say going out with that boy but…

J: Yeah – same thing. Um, I don’t know, she wasn’t there tonight.

Sharon joins Jane at the table with a stack. Cut to medium shot of both of them from the front.

They eat in comfortable silence for two whole minutes.

J: Do you remember what we used to call these?

S: You mean Flap Janes? I remember.

J: I would have sworn they were my favorite food. Then I ate too many and yarfed and that was the end of that obsession.

S: I remember I couldn’t have gotten you to eat another one if it was sprinkled with cocaine.

J: (only half joking) Well, I wasn’t too into to cocaine yet at age six.

S: (also half joking) Oh that’s right. That came later.

Semi-awkward pause.

S: (thinking out loud) Well look at us now…

Sharon looks off into space thinking for another beat then stands up and gathers the plates.

J: Thanks mom.

S: You’re very welcome My Dear.

J: No, I mean – thank you, really.

Sharon takes the dishes to the sink.

S: Oh, don’t mention it. It was interesting to say the least. I here boys make a better only child.

J: You ever wish you could have made Flap Jakes?

S: Goodness no. They may be better but they’re… boring.

J: We should hang out more.

S: Yeah… How?

They ponder on this for a second and Sharon’s beeper goes off.

S: (looking at the device, face tightening) Gotta go.

J: (As Sharon walks away) See ya. Thanks for the cakes.

Jane picks up her plate of almost untouched pancakes and scrapes them into the trash. The camera follows as she goes into Sharon’s room, changes into a large t-shirt and goes to sleep in her mom’s unmade bed.

The right third of the frame cuts to a shot of the house from outside revealing Sharon pulling out of the driveway as Jane slumbers in the left two-thirds.

After Sharon has driven away, the left two-thirds blinks into place with the right third, going to a wide shot of the house. Extremely slow zoom out as chirping crickets are again heard.

Fade to black.

Here’s the rough outline I have so far. Any ideas/insight appreciated…

Scene 1

OPENING: Open with black screen for a few seconds, then you can hear the clicking noise of a slide projector shifting slides. You hear once, twice, then the image blinks on.

SHOT 1: camera starts in a darkened closet then the closet door is opened. After a few seconds of rustling a GIRL comes into view. She has climbed onto one of the lower shelves of the closet and is peering at a higher one (where the camera is).
She shifts a few objects, pulls them off the shelves. After a moment of rustling through the items it seems like she hasn’t found what she wants. She begins to put the items back, but hesitates as she peers thoughtfully into an old plastic shopping bag. She replaces all the items but the bag and shuts the door.

SHOT 2: A broken flashlight can be seen on the ground (top off, batteries falling out). Feet enter the frame and exit, followed by a lamp trailing a cord down the hallway.

SHOT 3: A moment later camera follows cord down the hallway and it can be seen snaking into a darkened bedroom.

SHOT 4: Wider shot of darkened and cluttered room with an elaborate blanket fort inside. Rustling is heard, then a soft click and the fort lights up.

SHOT 5: Close up of hand holding the tiny slides and fingers tracing the cardboard edges.

**Montage of holding slides up to the lamp light, and sorting them into piles**

I don’t know how to make it flow into this next part!!! Any ideas??

Scene 2

GIRL somehow obtains a slide projector. I am having second thoughts about having her pick it up at Good Will. Actually I just can’t clearly envision this scene so I’m going to bypass it for now. Maybe in the beginning she just finds the slides AND the projector??

Scene 3

SHOT 1: girl pulls from a storage closet a big box of cords. She lifts them up in a tangled knot.

SHOT 2: presumably later on she sits on the ground with the cords and is plugging them one by one into the wall to test them. She tries 3 or 4 that don’t work. Finally one does and the slide projector blinks on.

Scene 4: Many sheets and towels and other laundry are hanging on an outdoor clothesline to dry. The girl walks through them casually, then tiptoes to undo the clothespins on a white sheet and yanks it from the line, dashing away.

Listen to this song while you’re reading.

http://search.playlist.com/tracks/ship%20caught%20in%20the%20bay

RYAN, KENT, and BRYCE cut through the desert in an old gray convertible with the top down. Their lazy bodies are more detailed than shapes but not quite silhouettes against the sunset. RYAN sits silent in the back, staring into space, his long hair blowing in the wind, as the two in front maintain inconsequential exchanges drowned out by the strained and rusty atmosphere.

More tomorrow, I promise. I have to wake up early and go to the DMV tomorrow.

So this movie has been in my head for quite some time. It’s the one about the two that fall in love, change each other, and discover their new selves fit better elsewhere. You know… with the hair. I used to refer to this as “Sunset Soon Forgotten” but that’s the title of an Iron and Wine song so for now I’m calling it “Goblin” after Goblin Valley which is where it all begins. I’ve realized that I like a lot of things about it but the ending I came up with is contrived. So here’s a new, more subtle ending…

But first, for those unfamiliar with the film, a brief summary of it’s dramatic action:

Ryan meets Beth at Goblin Valley.

Beth is sad and bald. Sad because of the malfunctioning brain-chemicals she inherited from her mother combined with said mother’s recent departure. Bald from her leukemia treatment.

Ryan has long hair and really digs Beth’s “depth.” He finds her jaded perspective endearing and mysterious. He falls in love with her broken self and she falls in love with his love for her.

But Beth wasn’t always this way. The memories of her cheerful, simple self from years passed, when her brain-chemicals behaved themselves, add a tinge of bitterness to her current state.

In Ryan she finds a cure. Not only does he love her as she is, he likes her better this way. He makes her see that the new her is the real her and if people don’t find beauty in her depression, their devotion to her is shallow.

Ryan fancies himself a free-thinker. He is anti anything that even resembles The Man and as such refuses to get a hair cut and get a real job. This makes it difficult for him, however, to realize his dreams of world travel. It is suggested to him that he work at an airline for the employee travel benefits but that would involve settling for employment that utilizes none of his specific interests and abilities and therefore falls under the category of giving in.

They date. Ryan strives to “expand her world.” They make fantastic plans and buy one-way tickets to Brazil. Beth returns to school for one last semester (as she promised her Dad) after a long stint of online classes with renewed confidence. Ryan has his hair chopped off and made into a wig for Beth as further proof of his feelings for her. This relationship is intense.

At this point Beth hasn’t looked or felt better in years. Her personality blossoms and she remembers what it was like to be adored not for being different, but for being pretty, sweet, and humble – qualities Ryan certainly appreciates, but not as much as some of Beth’s new acquaintances. A boy sees in her a profound simplicity and promptly falls for her. And the feeling is mutual.

Beth breaks it to Ryan by pointing out that he made her who she is now, but that person is someone with whom he would not be able to fall in love with had they just met.

Ryan seeks closure by returning the plane tickets in-person. As he’s waiting in line, he notices that his hair is more-or-less professional-looking for the first time in a long time. After he is refunded for the tickets, he asks for a job application.

LAST SCENE

A shot of a plane flying away is followed by a frisbee gliding silently through a spring afternoon sky. The muttled sound of Ultimate players exchanging soft commands and sincere praise fades in as the camera slowly moves straight down, revealing heads jumping in and out of frame. As we get a shot of Ryan it is apparent by the mountainless backdrop that he has relocated. His long, fat side-burns suggest an elapse of some time as does his serene manner. His hair is still short.

The winded Ryan makes an assist and after giving the guy who scored a high-five walks to the side-line and signals for someone to take his place. He sits on the grass and as he catches his breath notices a girl sitting on a blanket watching the game who looks strikingly like Beth from behind. His curiosity getting the better of him, Ryan scoots up next to her and takes a probing look at her face. It’s not her. He sees that she’s noticed his attention and is uncomfortable.

Ryan: “Sorry… I just… I thought you were someone else.”

Girl: “Oh… Am I?”

Ryan: (laughs) No.

Girl: Well I’m glad I’m not someone else.

Ryan: Me too. (pause) So who are you rooting for?

Girl: My husband. You know Jack?

Ryan: Oh yeah I know Jack.

Girl: Today’s actually his birthday.

Ryan: Oh cool! So… you two gonna go do something special after the game?

Their conversation is interrupted as JACK limps off the field and RYAN leaps up to take his place. As he plays, RYAN shoots repeated glances at the couple on the side-line as they chat the chat of natural, contented lovers. He smiles.

As the game dies down, RYAN slyly rounds up the players on his team and informs them of a covert op. An uninformed JACK joins the circle for the traditional cheer. They put their hands together and on the count of three surprise JACK with a round of Happy Birthday, led by RYAN.

A few minutes later, as everyone is leaving, JACK and GIRL, now holding hands, approach RYAN.

JACK: Hey Ryan, you got plans tonight? Wanna come celebrate with us?

RYAN: I would but I’m flying to India.

JACK: (Thinking Ryan is joking) India? Dude, come with us, we’re going to Paris!

RYAN: Sorry. You guys take it easy.

They start off in different directions.

JACK: Allright. Later Ryan!

GIRL: Bye Ryan!

RYAN shoots them a peace sign and gets in his car.

The End

This is obviously a little different from your average Hollywood ending. It is supposed to feel extremely casual and light which is a big contrast to the rest of the movie. Ryan is calm for the first time. I also found the idea of introducing two new, inconsequential characters at the end intruiging. It’s supposed to almost feel like the beginning of a new movie, like a Romantic Comedy or something. Their interaction with Ryan marks his final closier which doesn’t happen with one dramatic epiphany but, like the floating frisbee, sinks in the sky until, in this scene, it gently comes to rests on the ground.

Four college students sit in a circle on the floor around a board game called Catan.  A talking CPR practice torso occupies one spot around the board. Their movements are slow and mechanical, each taking his or her turn without a beat.  Pet rats are crawling up and down shoulders unnoticed. This group has mastered casual conversation to the point where the line between facetiousness and sincerity is blurred.

MARIA:  (in her usual weasely voice) So, I have an announcement to make.

BEN:  You’re pregnant.

FLO:  You rolled a seven and you’re steeling my wheat.

MARIA:  I’m in love.

As expected, no reaction.

HALLI:  Who’s the lucky boy?

MARIA:  Actually it’s a lucky girl and it is me.  I am actually in love with my own self.

HALLI:  In actuality?

MARIA:  Yes.

FLO: Well… how can you be sure it’s true love?

CUT TO close up of MARIA entranced by the reflection of her eyes in the bathroom mirror as she brushes her teeth. Her hand drops, she moves in, closes her eyes and kisses, leaving toothpaste smudges on the glass.

CUT BACK TO Group.

MARIA: I can just feel it inside of me.

FLO: What color is it?

MARIA: (tries to feel real hard) Mauve.

FLO nods her head as if giving her approval.

This whole time all four have not let their eyes off the game nor stopped placing pieces and flipping cards methodically.

BEN: (as he takes a rat from his shoulder and places it on the CPR dummy) So Jesse was trying to convince me that cloudy days are actually hotter because the clouds trap in heat waves.

FLO: (overlapping with HALLI) That’s true, ya know.

HALLI: (overlapping with FLO) Oh, sorry, you can’t put Voldomort on the dummy, he doesn’t like the texture.

MARIA: He has a name, you know.

HALLI: Sorry, you can’t put Voldomort on Ichabod. They’re not even from the same fictitious realm.

BEN: He likes it and besides…I just won!

MARIA: (taking a urinating Voldomort off of Ichabod) And we have pee!

Shot of the newly soiled Ichabod (the CPR dummy).

CUT TO MARIA in the office of a kids camp director giving a demonstration of the CPR dummy. She speaks with a much more mature-sounding voice, accompanied by expressive eyebrow movements and snort-laden laughter. Unbeknownst to the director, a middle-aged gentle-looking woman, the slightest fluctuation in MARIA’s enthusiasm, normally common in saleswomen, represents a conscious effort to satirize the role is now forced to play.

MARIA: And of course this guy is completely water-proof. Or girl, excuse me.

dot dot dot <span%3d-slug=scott-nights-of-catan

FADE IN

INT. BEDROOM – MORNING

Shot of an empty king-size bed.  The right side has obviously been slept in while the left side remains neatly made.  MR. GOSS enters dressed for the day, sits on the bed and takes off his shoes.  He lies down and we get an over-head shot of his face deep in thought.  The alarm clock goes off.  He sighs and gets out of bed, revealing the films title where he was lying.

INT. KITCHEN

MR. GOSS makes himself a nutritious breakfast.

EXT. FRONT PORCH

He goes out to get the newspaper and finds that someone has left a baby in a car-seat on his front porch.  He scans the street and quickly spots ALEX fleeing the scene.  MR. GOSS starts after him but abruptly stops when he recognizes the young man.

MR. GOSS

Alex?!

Pulls out his cell phone and starts dialing 

MR. GOSS cont.

(to himself with frustration)

Alexander Gonzalez!

EXT. AROUND THE CORNER 

ALEX’s phone rings in his pocket.  After determining he is not being chased, he stops running, nervously takes out his phone and looks to see who is calling.  He immediately ends the call and walks at a brisk speed.  As the gravity of the situation dawns on him, his breathing becomes more panicked and his face tightens.  His phone rings again and he sits flat on the pavement.  A shot of the phone shows “Coach Goss.”  He takes in a deep breath, releases, and answers the phone. 

MR. GOSS

(Loudly over the phone)

Why don’t you just step into my office

so we can talk about what just happened

before I really get angry! 

EXT. FRONT OF HOUSE 

ALEX knocks on the garage door and it immediately opens revealing MR. GOSS’s “office” which consists of a desk facing out and a chair on each side.  MR. GOSS sits behind the desk, peering out from the shadows. 

MR. GOSS

Have a seat, Son. 

ALEX goes to the empty chair to find that the car-seat with the baby is already occupying it.  He grabs a stool from the corner and sits diagonally to MR. GOSS. 

MR. GOSS

I came out to get the newspaper this

morning and found something quite

disturbing.  Did you know, Alex,

that less than fifty percent of American

 households have regular dinners as a family?

Picks up the newspaper on his desk and opens it.

MR. GOSS cont.

 The University of Michigan just did a

study.  Isn’t that something? It’s a

sad thing.  I read this stuff every day and I

 swear each time it makes me at

least two days older.  I’m not a geezer

yet but I sure can’t afford to keep

taking these double-helpings.  Wouldn’t

you agree, Alex?

ALEX

I… 

MR. GOSS

(exploding)

This is a baby!  A human baby! 

ALEX

I’m sorry Coach, I… 

MR. GOSS

For goodness sakes you’re a married

man Alex, you don’t have to keep

calling me Coach! 

ALEX

Sorry, John… 

MR. GOSS

I didn’t say you could call me John! 

ALEX

Sorry, uh… Sir.  I’m really sorry for…

Look, the baby’s not mine!  I swear, someone

left it on my doorstep this morning.  I know,

I should have taken it somewhere but

I was late for work and… 

MR. GOSS

(slowly and deliberately)

Alex, listen to me.  Why did you bring

him here? 
 

ALEX

I don’t know… I thought you’d know

what to do.

MR. GOSS

Why on earth would you think that?!

(no answer)

MR. GOSS cont.

Alex, you’re young.  Did you ever

think whoever this sad person is

didn’t just drop off their child on a

doorstep, they dropped him on your

doorstep.  Does Luisa know

what happened?

ALEX

She’s sleeping.

MR. GOSS

(calming down and staring into space)

Ya know, Lacey isn’t our oldest.

I wasn’t gonna tell you this but

my Megan had a miscarriage too.

It’s a terrible thing.  But then came

Lacey…  She was a miracle, in more

than one way.  I can still smell

the… 

(he gets choked up) 

…blanket they wrapped her in.

Alex, you’re not responsible for

this child.

Pause 

ALEX

What should we do?

MR. GOSS

Get in the car, I’ll drive you to work. 

MR. GOSS stands and walks toward the car parked on the street.  ALEX follows. 
 

MR. GOSS

(in “coach mode” with his back toward ALEX)

Get the baby, there’s no one

here to watch him.

ALEX grabs car-seat and rushes to catch up.

ALEX

How can you be sure it’s a boy?

They get in the car.

INT. CAR

MR. GOSS

Who would abandon a beautiful

baby girl?

This next scene has a whole different feel.  The intensity has died and a comfortable silence fills the gaps between sentences.

MR. GOSS

I guess Sandy Moller’ll think twice before

trying to undertake one of her little

projects again.  I told her to call me

and I could round up some boys

to patch things up but she wouldn’t

hear of it.  But I guess she wouldn’t

be Sandy Moller without that stubbornness.

ALEX

Coach John, Sir.  I can’t seem to

open that recommendation you

wrote for me…

MR. GOSS

Well, does your computer have XP?

ALEX

Ummm…

MR. GOSS

Windows XP!  For goodness sakes

you’re supposed to be generation

X – you don’t even have XP?  Whatcha

got on your hog, 2003?  I mean it’s

not a big deal I’ll just reformat it

and send you a new one.

ALEX

Okay thanks, that’d be great.

Long pause

ALEX cont.

(looking back at baby)

It looks like there’s a note.

Reaches back and grabs piece of paper.

MR. GOSS

What does it say? 

ALEX unfolds it.

ALEX

Just “Frankie.”  I guess that’s his

name. 

MR. GOSS

I’ve always liked that name.  It’s

Irish, I believe.

ALEX stares at MR. GOSS as something clicks in his head.

ALEX

So how’s Lacey doing? 

MR. GOSS

Fine.  She’s loving it.  I just went

and visited her.  Beautiful campus. 

ALEX

She’s been there what, like nine months

right? 

MR. GOSS

Um, yeah I suppose so, yeah.

ALEX

And, was it a ten month program you said? 

MR. GOSS

Yep. 

ALEX

That must be tough, not having your

daughter around. 

MR. GOSS

Is it okay if I drop you off here, I need

to do some errands?

ALEX

Absolutely, yeah.

ALEX gets out and stands on the curb.  MR. GOSS rolls down the passenger window. 

MR. GOSS

Listen, don’t worry about the baby.

I’ll take care of everything.  Lacey will

be home soon.  She’ll make sure I don’t

screw things up. 

MR. GOSS drives away.  Shot of the baby through the back window looking up as the tree reflections come over him in waves.

FADE OUT

I was gonna save this for later, but here’s a short film I’ve been working on. It is still very much a work in progress. Also, I just guessed on the format so it looks kinda weird. “Insert Petty Banter” is not the title. I just think it sounds funny.

mr-goss.doc