An intriguing study of phone calling behaviors and the various degrees of correlating peril:

You see, many times a person will use a telephone, but also desire to do another thing at the same time that they are using this device. This is called multi-tasking, and it is generally a good idea for maximizing time and efficiency in one’s life. To multi-task while on the phone you simply must cradle the phone between your ear and neck, thus freeing up both your hands to do whatever it is you desire with them.

However, according to scientific study–there are certain tasks that are more desirable to undertake during a phone call than others. A simple equation has been drawn up to explain this phenomena. The equation is as follows: XXX < x

Or in simpler terms: The less peril involved, the more desirable the task.

Two specific tasks will now be presented as examples:

Task number one is apple-cutting. Apple-cutting might seem like a good multi-tasking idea while on the phone. After all, apples are a delicious and wholesome snack–and if you are in for a long conversation you might need the nutrition to keep up your stamina. However, apple-cutting not only requires an APPLE, but a KNIFE. And knives are sharp.

According to scientific research people who attempt to cut an apple while talking on the phone, will cut, slash, impale or otherwise injure themselves 9 times out of 10. Therefore, it is evident that the combination of apple-cutting and phone-talking is quite perilous, and therefore rather undesirable.

Task number two is laundry-folding. Laundry-folding, while somewhat difficult to undertake while one’s head is plastered to one’s shoulder, is significantly less perilous than apple-cutting and can be done in a safe and efficient manner even while having the most uproarious of conversations. The quality of the folded laundry might not be quite as good as laundry that is folded while not on the phone–but the results are passable and there is no risk of injury involved.

That is why, scientifically, it is good that laundry isn’t sharp.

Thank you.

(PS maybe you can tell I was pressed for time today, and could not think of many worthwhile things to say…)