James Goodliving
June 15, 2008
James Goodliving
Occupation: Contractor. He employs many Mexicans to fix people’s roofs. Mostly he works in the office, delegating much of the outdoor work to his right-hand man Jesus, whom he trusts completely and in whom he sometimes confides.
Ticks: Chews his fingernails.
He enjoys personal goal setting and self-help books are a guilty pleasure. He’s currently working on learning Spanish with flash cards.
“Sometimes you know what you’re supposed to feel about something – what a rational person would feel – but you just can’t. Just who is this rational person we are compelled to compare ourselves with? I suppose he lives somewhere in West Virginia; that seems like a pretty rational state to me. And he sits on his crickety front porch and says how he’s planning on fixing the rain gutters. And his wife pokes fun at how he never finishes projects he announces so he should probably save his announcing for office-related developments. It’s the worst with things that are supposed to be permanent. I heard on TV the other day from some guy who wrote a book that permanence is an illusion. I don’t think I got the whole meaning of what he was saying but, I don’t know, it made sense at the time. It’s not true but it made sense. I know it’s a cliché but I’m gonna say it anyway – Women! Am I right? I mean seriously! It’s like, they work in theory, but when there’s one flaw in the equation everything just gives up working. It’s too hard. It would be bad enough if it was her fault. Sometimes I think it wouldn’t be half bad. Maybe three fifths bad. I don’t know. I blame words, actually. We built this mansion out of words, delicate and steep. It felt like an accomplishment the first few years. Each expression of love followed logically after the next. But then, I don’t know if we reached the top or what… I don’t like this analogy anymore. The point is our words led the way and now they’re all that’s left to make sense of everything but I don’t like them anymore. I don’t trust them. Even what I’m saying right now, can you see how it’s working against me?
I feel so selfish. Why do I feel so selfish? I want people to stay, that’s why. I want my life to be a venus fly trap.”
